Boyfriend skips his girlfriend of 2 month's college graduation to watch his friends compete in a triathlon: 'You’re probably gonna be single soon.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
May 4, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

Is it so wrong for him to prioritize a prior commitment? 

When you've been dating someone for two months, you might not feel ready to make huge plans with them. You might be comfortable planning the next couple of weeks together, but planning a big vacation only two months into dating could be kind of catastrophic. If you break up, someone is going to have to pick up the bill, and if you're a cheapskate like me, the airline will probably be unsympathetic because you are flying Basic Economy and didn't opt to protect your trip. So really, you will probably be picking up the bill. 

Early in a relationship, you can't always expect your partner to put you above their friends, nor should they. I'm not saying that you should have boys' night six times a week, sidelining your girlfriend and barely seeing her. But it's not like you should never hang out with your friends again after you get together with someone! After all, your friends have been there for you since long before the girlfriend came into the picture, and they'll be with you long after she's gone. You shouldn't abandon your buddies under any circumstances.

Even though they've only been together for two months, the girlfriend in this story really wants her boyfriend to come to her graduation. That would be all well and good, but he's going to be out of town on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation with his bros and his family, and he doesn't want to miss out on that. 

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  • Woman in black academic gown
    via Andrea Buccelli

    A young woman who has just graduated from college, without her boyfriend to support her. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for not attending my girlfriend's graduation because I'm traveling to watch my friends compete in a triathlon?

    Am I the a h le for not going to her college graduation? Now before I get called out on just not wanting to go I feel like I have a good reason. Before I met her I signed up for an Ironman race. The date landed on the
    via u/FruityBigMac
  • same day of her graduation and we were reluctantly in agreement that I couldn't make it. Well fast forward I got injured just before the race which is in a few weeks.
    via u/FruityBigMac
  • Man falling over and hurting his leg
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    A young man injures himself just weeks before his big triathlon race. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So she thought that meant I would just cancel my trip all together. I told her I'm still planning on going to the race to support the other guys I have been training with for over half a year. I have a
    via u/FruityBigMac
  • A group of athletes competing in a triathlon
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Athletes run through the water for the swimming leg of the triathlon. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • nonrefundable house I'm staying at and I have family that moved around work and plans to be there for the race. Long story short I still planning on going to support my friends with my family even though I'm not racing anymore. In turn missing the
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  • graduation ceremony. Does this make me an a hle? Edit: since I did not make it clear we have only been dating two months
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  • Odd-Interaction-8 YTA, and you're probably gonna be single soon. There's a massive difference in life milestones and social events. Your friends can easily race again. Your partner can't easily graduate again
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  • impulsivepatience She has only existed in his life for 2 months. NTA
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  • Odd-Interaction-8 Doesn't really matter. If you're committed to someone, you're ideally in it for the long haul. Saying "well I don't have to attend import life moments for you because we've not been together long" doesn't set a good precedent for how it's gonna end up and at what time does it change? 6 months in is he just gonna sit her down and be like "now your important enough for my time!"?
    via u/FruityBigMac
  • juicer42 I would think it means that he will make time for her important events going forward, but he has a prior commitment that day to friends and family that was made before he met her.
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  • ConflictGullible392 Soft YTA. If you're not actually participating in the race, feels like your girlfriend's graduation should take precedence. If you're serious about this person that is.
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  • ShmebulocksMistress NAH (edit: updated verdict). This is a two month relationship and you had preset plans with your family surrounding the race, regardless of if you are now participating or not. This isn't to say your girl is being TA if she is feeling down you still won't make it to graduation. There just needs to be an understanding that this relationship is so fresh the two of you haven't even had the time to make plans like this together. It's a simple conflict of preexisting plans that is
    via u/FruityBigMac
  • The unhelpful comments saying you'll be single soon- hopefully she is reasonable and understands this. And if she's not, I don't know about you but I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't understand the situation. Celebrate with her before or after your trip.
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  • AlternativeBoss 7083 Hard call but if you go on your trip. Have some flowers delivered to her with a sweet note letting her know you are proud of her and thinking of her and make plans to celebrate when you get back
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  • AlarmingKale1997 Once you were injured - you decided supporting the guys you've been training with was more important than supporting your girlfriend. I'm not necessarily going to fault you for this as a 3rd party, but your girlfriend should and probably will break up with you. NAH
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  • Zealousideal_Hold893 NTA- your family rearranged their lives to be there to support you. Now they are there with you supporting your friends. Training for a competition like that builds life long bonds. It s...ks that the dates are the same, but this was a preplanned trip.
    via u/FruityBigMac

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boyfriend single graduation refund triatholn friends girlfriend family college vacation
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